my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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