I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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