yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
