Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
