So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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