my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
