who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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