so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
