Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
