We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
