we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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