Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We left the knife in your bed.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
