Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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