have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
