This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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