its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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