forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
