So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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