soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
