I am in a vortex of obligation.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
