end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
