the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
