idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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