my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I touched a dick in church today
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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