it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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