The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
