im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
My pussy is not your playground.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
