All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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