just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
