It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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