weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
and you fell through a lawn chair
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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