There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Found your dick twin last night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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