he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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