does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
