Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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