why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
