people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
