How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
