yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
