had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
