At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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