After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
