people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
