3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
this is an emotional support booty call
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
