Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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