She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
