The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
