had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
