DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
