Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
