omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
