I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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