Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
