well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
